So, lately, as in the past year, I’ve been struggling with my spirituality and searching through various paths. I started out years ago as a young witchlet wanting to become a Wiccan. I thought it would be an interesting path and that was what resonated with me early on. I read books, joined facebook groups to learn from (when I first decided to join the world of social media). When I was trying to find a coven in my city, I knew that I wanted to be a part of the outer court to see & learn. I contacted folks who had connections, but soon found out that maybe this path wasn’t for me. I never did get to participate with the coven & I wish that I had before I made my decision.
I tried the neo-pagan route for most of my journey. I dabbled with crystals, Shamanism, divination (I have been a Tarot card reader since high school) I’ve gotten together with like-minded folks, we did meditations to meet our animal totems, traded pagan music for our iPods, went on pagan shopping roadtrips to various different types of metaphysical shops. It was a fun time and I was learning a lot from these folks, but I felt like something was missing. I admit, I did do a lot of flip-flopping in my early days, but that’s how I was learning.
Then it happened. I lost my witchy. I felt alone, like the Gods weren’t there for me. I had gone thru a lot of of heavy shit and felt abandoned. I wasn’t really keeping up with my altars (which I love doing), I wasn’t blogging on my old blog, I lost touch with a lot of pagan folk in my community, just as I was starting to get to know them. All I had were my pagan podcasts, which I listened to and saw that some of them were going thru what I was. Their podcasts became fewer & some even faded. I felt the exact same thing in my pagan life. I started to read books on Southern Conjure and thought that was something to try out.
So, for the past 2 yrs or so, I’ve been studying Hoodoo/Conjure. I make mojos, floorwashes, etc. I belong to a few forums and on most days you can find me perusing the Lucky Mojo forums, reading & learning from Miss Cat. Money has been a thorn in my side, so when my hours get better at work and I have some spare cash, I will actually be taking some courses from some very reputable teachers, Miss Cat incl.
This past year, I decided to get back into full witchy mode, but I didn’t want to go back to neo-paganism. Yes, I still do some things that are along that path, but I wanted something that was older, more traditional. I once found a book by Evan John Jones w/Doreen Valiente that was so different from what I read previously. I went back and re-read it and something clicked in me. I pulled out a few of my DV books that I had on my bookcase & read those. Then I started reading the Robert Cochrane Letters, some books by Robin Artisson, Peter Paddon, etc. These were my jumping off point. I found some groups on Yahoo that I joined, some on fb and talked to some people who actually practice Trad. Witchcraft. My book collection is growing, thanks to Amazon. My local bookstore doesn’t really cater to Trad craft, you can find some gems every so often in the used books, but the majority of the stuff they sell is Llewellyn books, crystals, Reiki, etc. I have nothing against that, it’s just not my thing and I do have to go online to get the books I need.
I’m working on re-doing my ancestor altar. I don’t really have any Deities, but I do have my ancestors to watch my back & to kick my ass when I fuck up. I have some pix and mementos, things I know they liked when living. It’s a Hoodoo based altar, not so fru-fru. I’m more of a minimalist when it comes to my practice. I’m starting to get back out in the community & network with those I feel I can learn from. I’m getting my hands dirty with my workings, whereas before I wouldn’t thought of doing things that I’m doing now. I’m in the process of finding good spot not too far from home to do my workings that’s still relatively private. I’m doing more trance work and practicing enchantment techniques. I’m learning how to Lay the Compass & Tread the Mill. Granted, I’m doing this solitary, even though there are a couple of girls at work who want to learn along with me.
This blog will hopefully be a record of my journey, which is still ongoing. I may fuck up some things, but really, who hasn’t at some point? Til next time,